What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
