youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
