you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
