I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
