I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
