I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
