my vag is so smooth its legendary
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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