we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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