I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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