Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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