Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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