Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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