so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
