The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
