wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
