you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
