So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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