I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
