Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
