Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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