Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So here I am, sexting at work.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
