It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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