The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
