A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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