Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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