drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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