Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
