I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
