grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
