They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
