Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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