brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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