I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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