I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
