i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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