You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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