btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
