Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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