she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
