Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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