are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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