Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
