so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
