She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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