So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
