It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This house was built for laser tag.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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