That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
