Your tits are I can't wait for
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
