Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
