Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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